I swear I must've been a Dung Beetle in a past life....
My house is literally covered in sayings, and life affirming quotes, but let me tell you sometimes no matter how hard you try to shrug off the bad and look onwards and upwards life has a horrid way of just knocking you right back down again! I am literally sick to death of having constant struggles! I am just in the midst of one of those dips in life where I really just want to stick my head down the toilet, press the flush and hope I end up in some magical mystical land where everything's all rainbows and unicorns! so I realise i'm not thinking as clearly as I could.
Someone once said to me, look life sucks, some people just have it easy and some people just..don't! and how true my friend, how true! I swear to god I must've been a dung beetle in a past life because I just can't catch a break! Now I realise I'm looking down the barrel of some major doom and gloom here, and the rainbow will come again, a smile will again slap itself upon my face and in turn, to the onlooker my life will be great, but just now, just now, I just want to sit here and wallow a little while longer. ... longer than the week or so I have just wasted away pretty much sat in the same spot watching tele and eating junk whilst thinking of all the productive things I should in fact be doing in order to actually be proactive and help myself! but no, I of course, choose catch up tv and endless you tube 'look how amazing my life is' vlogs! Bad move, my friend, bad move!
Rule number one should always be, when in doubt and feeling insecure and somewhat down in the dumps about your life do not start binge watching other people amazingly fabulous and perfect lives on you tube as this will simply make one feel even worse about ones sad, pathetic existence! exactly as I do right now! joy! Life isn't even that bad, I know how lucky I am (I tell myself alllllll the time, mostly when something craps just happened and i'm trying to reassure and comfort myself) but seriously I do know! But sometimes i just wanna not have to worry about money like all the time! I'm going out to work and working hard yet I can still barely afford much of anything. A holiday is such a unreachable goal right now and that makes me sad, more so when I watch all these vloggers travelling the world and have such a fabulous time. I'm sadly obsessed and I love watching them and getting to experience it vicariously through them (especially disney vlogs) but then it just leaves that little bit of sadness with me that I can't afford to do that and experience that with my daughter! I always say one day, one day, but when?!? I see it not in our near future. I mean how the heck can you afford to do anything on minimum wage! it's blooming ridiculous! I'm 34 years old, i've been to uni, i'm not completely thick, I work hard but I always seem to be the one that grafts at work but just seems to get over looked while the others are better thought of and then inevitably they all leave the hell hole one by one because it's a complete nightmare and I'm stuck there picking up the slack! eugh! You know how people say if your face fits, well my ugly mug just doesn't! I wish I knew what I was doing wrong. I'm not wanting the earth just a decent job that means a holiday wouldn't be so far out of reach, but I just don't seem to have much luck! I know i sacrificed a career because I had my daughter right out of uni and then I just took what fit in around her and I truly don't' regret that coz she's my world and I absolutely LOVE being a mum and that is 100% my priority but working your socks off for minimum wage (like many others I'm sure) it's just soul destroying.
Anyways, I know moaning doesn't actually help coz negativity breeds negativity but I just need to get it out of my system! I always do this I just let things build up and build up and then boom, a huge water works and wallowing scene commences. Alas, I've decided I need something creative to sink my teeth into to give me some focus so I've decided to give this whole blogging thing, yet another, try. I want to document my life, (however mundane at times), keep in touch with far away friends and who knows maybe even meet some new, like minded ones along the way, so without further ado lets give this a whirl....
Someone once said to me, look life sucks, some people just have it easy and some people just..don't! and how true my friend, how true! I swear to god I must've been a dung beetle in a past life because I just can't catch a break! Now I realise I'm looking down the barrel of some major doom and gloom here, and the rainbow will come again, a smile will again slap itself upon my face and in turn, to the onlooker my life will be great, but just now, just now, I just want to sit here and wallow a little while longer. ... longer than the week or so I have just wasted away pretty much sat in the same spot watching tele and eating junk whilst thinking of all the productive things I should in fact be doing in order to actually be proactive and help myself! but no, I of course, choose catch up tv and endless you tube 'look how amazing my life is' vlogs! Bad move, my friend, bad move!
Rule number one should always be, when in doubt and feeling insecure and somewhat down in the dumps about your life do not start binge watching other people amazingly fabulous and perfect lives on you tube as this will simply make one feel even worse about ones sad, pathetic existence! exactly as I do right now! joy! Life isn't even that bad, I know how lucky I am (I tell myself alllllll the time, mostly when something craps just happened and i'm trying to reassure and comfort myself) but seriously I do know! But sometimes i just wanna not have to worry about money like all the time! I'm going out to work and working hard yet I can still barely afford much of anything. A holiday is such a unreachable goal right now and that makes me sad, more so when I watch all these vloggers travelling the world and have such a fabulous time. I'm sadly obsessed and I love watching them and getting to experience it vicariously through them (especially disney vlogs) but then it just leaves that little bit of sadness with me that I can't afford to do that and experience that with my daughter! I always say one day, one day, but when?!? I see it not in our near future. I mean how the heck can you afford to do anything on minimum wage! it's blooming ridiculous! I'm 34 years old, i've been to uni, i'm not completely thick, I work hard but I always seem to be the one that grafts at work but just seems to get over looked while the others are better thought of and then inevitably they all leave the hell hole one by one because it's a complete nightmare and I'm stuck there picking up the slack! eugh! You know how people say if your face fits, well my ugly mug just doesn't! I wish I knew what I was doing wrong. I'm not wanting the earth just a decent job that means a holiday wouldn't be so far out of reach, but I just don't seem to have much luck! I know i sacrificed a career because I had my daughter right out of uni and then I just took what fit in around her and I truly don't' regret that coz she's my world and I absolutely LOVE being a mum and that is 100% my priority but working your socks off for minimum wage (like many others I'm sure) it's just soul destroying.
Anyways, I know moaning doesn't actually help coz negativity breeds negativity but I just need to get it out of my system! I always do this I just let things build up and build up and then boom, a huge water works and wallowing scene commences. Alas, I've decided I need something creative to sink my teeth into to give me some focus so I've decided to give this whole blogging thing, yet another, try. I want to document my life, (however mundane at times), keep in touch with far away friends and who knows maybe even meet some new, like minded ones along the way, so without further ado lets give this a whirl....
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